This letter will be brief, as my time is limited, and while writing is a beautiful art that touches many and can live long after the writer has passed... Living, to me now, is even more important.
I am trying not to let my short time left make me feel rushed to live. For, I must remember that it has been a worthwhile journey. When you are at the end, it seems to have passed in the blink of an eye. Yet, while it is happening, there are times you feel that is has been going on for eternity, similar to anything you reflect on, I suppose. I am lucky to acknowledge that I've lived a full life. One with many tiny infinite moments of love and beauty. I caught on to the idea that I better make the best out of it. That's luck. Nothing is luckier than knowing to view life in a beautiful way while you have it. I met lovely people who illustrated, and taught me these truths through their own living.
Some of these people I happened upon during my years, other I grew up next to, and others still, I met through the magic of the words they left behind in the pages of their books. I am grateful to them all.
And life is so fucking beautiful. How is it possible that existence can be so heartbreakingly beautiful? It could have been anything. And maybe to other existences, our life is ugly. I guess, how could we know without comparison? But, to us, to me, this thing called life is the ultimate manifestation of love. And what else could we have possibly been "put" here for?
Before I go, I have two things to say, in the hope that anyone who reads may stop and think.
All you will ever have is right now. Please don't throw away your presence. Don't live your now with your head already in tomorrow, or next week, or next year. The nexts might not ever show up. Find a way to change your thinking. Pull it out of the future, or the past, and into to lovely moments of now. You'll find that the beauty will grow and the fear and worry will begin to shrink. And your life will begin to evolve into an authentic shape,...something that resembles you. And it will be right.
And love. That IS the point of all of it. The more love you give, the better everything will be. Love your friends and your family, love your teachers good and bad. Love the people who wont let you off of the metro, love the boss who makes you feel stupid, and the boy who patronizes you. Love the homeless man in the square and the lady with the change cup and the deformity on her face. Love your mom. Love the noisy children, and the young mother with the baby who wont stop crying in the restaurant. Love the guy or girl that stops speaking to you. Love the dog chases you on your afternoon run, Love any and every form of life you encounter. You can find all parts of you in these beings and all of you in parts of them.
And in the end, I hope you have loved. Hard and open. And it will have been good.